October 22, 2012

Real Life Grown Up Friendships.

Here's a scenario for you.
You're 6-years-old and you make your first friend at school. All because the two of you had the same backpack. or maybe you trade fruit snacks with each other. either one is grounds for a strong friendship.

And then from there, you make friends with her friends and so on. And that's kind of how you make friends all the way up to college- friending friends of friends. At least that's how it was for me.

Then you move away to a new state. And you're married. And you must be socially handicapped because you no longer have the 6-year-old ability to make friends. Basically you just don't know what the grown-up rules for making friends are. [All I'm saying is it would just be a lot easier if everyone wore backpacks so that I could at least befriend someone with the same as mine. [who's with me?]

Let's say you do think that perhaps you've made a friend. So then you have to figure out what the heck you do next. Boundaries, I think the adults call them...

Are slumber parties pushing it?
Do I buy us matching outfits?
Am I allowed to be friends with your friends?
At what point do I allow my sarcasm to seep into our conversations without you thinking I'm a jerk? Do my self-directed Asian jokes make you uncomfortable?
Is she just being nice to me because we go to the same church/gym/whatev? or does she think that I'm as cool as my Kindergarten bestie thought I was?
Does adding you on Facebook make me look like a stalker?
What if she doesn't like Taylor Swift?
At what point can we start sharing wardrobes?
Is she a hug or a handshake kinda friend?
What if she doesn't get the same enjoyment out of hearing Tim Gunn from Project Runway say "Make it work"?
How does she feel about making fake music videos? [good I hope.]

And then there's the problem of the significant other...
What if I want to be friends with you, but our husbands don't like the same football team and it ends in a full on brawl? That could get awkard.

And that, my friends (we're friends, right?), is the number one problem of being a grown up.
and that's a proven fact. check the research or something.

these lucky dogs.


  1. Omg soooo true. Making friends SUCKS when you're married. And while I'm at it, KEEPING friends sucks when you're married. Making friends sucks. :/

  2. This is my life. I still don't have any friends! Come to Arizona.

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  4. I agree. Making friends when you're not married is a lot easier. I've lived in my neighborhood for 2 1/2 years and I only have a few people that I'm just now starting to get to know! Totally stinks. Now that I'm a Mom, it's even harder! Cause I have a little stinker attached to my hip ;)

  5. I had this problem the moment I graduated high school! Suddenly I didn't have a set group of friends anymore and I am still trying to figure out how to have a social life and I'm not even married haha

  6. Hey! I nominated you for an award on my blog, but totally don't feel like you have to participate if you don't want to. :)


  7. Found your blog through Ashlee's! So cute.. now following!! I'd love for you to check out mine!

  8. You are hilarious, Natasha! I totally resonate with everything you said. Relationships as "grown ups" are hard, especially if you don't feel like one.;)