October 30, 2013

Whoa. Is This Thing Still Going?

I haven't had the time or inspiration to write lately. I don't like it one bit but that's just the way it goes sometimes. (If we're being completely honest it's because all I want to talk about is CrossFit, but I'm fully aware that no one wants to hear it. Even my mom). In an attempt to get myself writing again, I went to my all powerful pinterest board of quotes and decided to pick a few of my recent favorites. 

There are a lot of big risks you have to take as an adult. The tiniest decision can change your entire life, and that's a scary thought. Look at Miley Cyrus for example. Just kidding, I don't even know where that came from. I've just been lacking on my celeb mentions so my mind made me throw that in.

Back to the real point- I've always been resistant to risk and change- heck I cried today when Clint told me he found a new jeep and was selling our truck because "I didn't get to say goodbye" (no, seriously those words came out of my mouth. I don't even know.) Anyway... lately I've come to grasp this whole philosophy of embracing the possibility of mistakes. I'm learning to jump in with both feet, even if there's no ground in sight.

I just have massive amounts of eleutheromania right now. (Also, my computer is saying I spelled that wrong so obviously he has know idea what I'm even going through.) Maybe it's the cooler air, or the longing for Utah during this time of year, or the never ending to do list I put upon myself... but my desire for freedom right now is above and beyond what it's been in a long time. A roadtrip to Greece sounds about right. Word on the street is you can't drive to Greece, but while we're dreaming...

I have this serious condition where I think it's vital for everyone to like me. It's not to satisfy me ego or anything like that- I just like to be friendly and make people feel comfortable. There was someone who I had been around and some days she would be warm and friendly to me, and other days she would be completely cold. I realized that whenever she was rude/unfriendly, it was because she felt insecure. So then for a fleeting moment I had the [pathetic] thought that I could downplay my strengths in order to make her feel better than me, so that she would stop being so back and forth. Well after that fleeting thought, I did a mind slap across the face to myself and said that was the dumbest thing you have ever come up with. It's not your problem, it's hers. 

Anyway, my point is- I don't need others around me who make me feel like I should be lessening the person that I am in order for them to feel better about themselves. We're not 12.

And then there's this. Sometimes you forget that "those were the days" are right this very moment. 


1 comment:

  1. tosh, your posts seriously make me laugh. even when they are serious you always add a little humor to them and then i feel like i completely get what you are saying. thanks for keeping this up. i'm an avid reader :)